In this episode, Belinda Pollard, Donita Bundy and Alison Joy interview Roma Flood, who has lived through the loss of a mother, daughter, husband and granddaughter, but has found a way to bless people with her story of loss and grief. For others who are writing from painful personal experience, she shares about lives that have changed as a result of her book… including her own.
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In conversation in this episode:
- Belinda Pollard, author of mainstream crime novels, writing coach, accredited editor with qualifications in theology, writing and publishing blogger at smallbluedog.com, and Gracewriters founder
- Donita Bundy, writing teacher, preacher and author of the Armour of Light urban fantasy series
- Alison Joy, romance author, former early childhood teacher and mother of 4 adult children
- Roma Flood, author of inspirational memoir
Topics covered in this episode:
- Self-care and the burden of reliving our trauma.
- The joy of writing and yet the challenges that also emerge through the process.
- Writing from a biblical worldview but for a secular audience.
- Responses to Roma’s book that have meant the world to her.
- How Roma gained an endorsement from the actor Liam Neeson.
Find Roma online:
More about Roma Flood at https://www.romaflood.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/romafloodauthor/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/romaflood/?hl=en
Roma’s book
Find more information on Roma’s book here: https://www.romaflood.com/despite-the-odds-the-book
Click the cover below to find her book on Amazon (an associate link that helps earn a few cents for Gracewriters):
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Audio
Video
Transcript
Belinda Pollard: Welcome to the Gracewriters Podcast – Christian Writers Changing Popular Culture. Hit subscribe on your favourite podcast player so you never miss an episode and find show notes, useful links and a full transcript at gracewriters.com.
Today on the podcast, counsellor, artist, speaker and author, Roma Flood.
I’m Belinda Pollard. I’m an author, editor and writing coach with a theology degree and 20 years in the publishing industry. I blog for writers at smallbluedog.com and you can find links to all my blogs, books and online courses at belindapollard.com.
Alison Joy: Hi, I’m Alison Young. I’m a former early childhood teacher living in south-east Queensland. I have four adult children and I’m a mad-keen photographer. I write romance under the pen name Alison Joy and you can find out more about my books at alisonjoywriter.com.
Donita Bundy: Hi, I’m Donita Bundy. For the past 20 years, I’ve been using my theology degree to underpin my preaching and more recently, to inspire my urban-fantasy series, Armour of Light. You can find out more about me, my books and all my other projects at donitabundy.com.
Alison Joy: Roma Flood has lived everyone’s worst nightmares, their greatest fears but has survived each and every one. The death of her mother when she was 16, the murder of her daughter and the death of her husband and granddaughter in a light plane crash. But despite the odds, she has been able to step out of the prison of grief and write a book with tremendous authenticity as well as provide keys to help guide the reader out of their own despair, pain and grief to a place where they can smile again.
Roma, thank you for joining us on the podcast today.
Roma Flood: Thanks for having me.
Donita Bundy: Roma, did you ever have an interest in writing before telling your story in Despite The Odds?
Roma Flood: Strangely enough, when I was a child, I always had a desire to write a book.
I remember once just starting it but never got very far, of course, but I truly believe that God placed that desire in my heart, both back then and for this book now.
I just wanted to do it and I always enjoyed grammar and words. I remember doing it. I remember putting pen to paper once but never getting very far!
Donita Bundy: So, how did this book come about.
Roma Flood: Well, it was strange because this book came about after another book that I’d written. After my daughter was murdered, I wrote a book and it was called Victim to Victor and it was all about the keys that I’ve learnt during that grief process. I had it professionally edited and I was actually applying that editing when the plane accident happened.
The very first time I wrote Victim to Victor though, I was trying to save it one day and I lost it in cyberspace so I had to rewrite it.
Belinda Pollard: How awful!
Roma Flood: And so, the second time round, here I was thinking, “Oh, I’m finally going to get this book written,” and then the plane accident occurred and basically, I just put it down and I never finished it.
And it wasn’t until quite a few years after the plane accident and working through the grief process again. The first time was horrific enough with my daughter but the second time, or the third time, the first time was losing my mother when I was 16 but the third loss was losing my husband and my granddaughter that I was raising. They both went down in a small plane and they were killed on impact.
Belinda Pollard: So, how did you get back into wanting to write. Our minds can barely comprehend what’s happened to you, Roma.
What was it that led you eventually back into writing after all of that?
Roma Flood: I think I had a deep desire to write and I wanted to share all the things that God had done for me during that process because He had been so absolutely amazing.
I don’t think that I could be as healed and whole as I am today after each of those traumas without the guidance and the love and the compassion and everything that He provided just when I needed it. And I needed to impart that, to tell that story to others so that it would give them everyday keys that they could use no matter what the situation was for them, whether it was grief or some type of challenge in life.
Grief comes in many, many different forms, too. It’s not only the loss of someone. There’s just so many forms of grief; loss of health, loss of a pet, loss of mobility, moving house. There’s just so many forms of grief and each of them has their own type of cycle.
So, I just wanted to enable people with the simple, everyday keys that I learnt, to be able to impart that to them and I also wanted to write it down. My book really is a bit of a legacy to my husband and I really wanted that to be something that my grandchildren could read later on in life.
Belinda Pollard: Because they didn’t get to know him?
Roma Flood: That’s correct, yes. They weren’t born at the time. In fact, the week of the plane accident, my son and my daughter-in-law told me straight after the plane accident they were going to tell us that week they were pregnant.
Donita Bundy: Did you find yourself using some of that material from Victim to Victor in your book. Even though you didn’t publish that, did you find that you were using some of that material?
Roma Flood: Actually, I didn’t even go back to that book. I wanted to write it in a different way. I really felt inspired to write it so that anyone could read it.
I didn’t use scripture, per se, you know what I mean but I wove the thread of scripture throughout and all the principles because everything that God taught me is scripturally based. You know, thinking good thoughts. It’s all founded in the bible but I wanted it to reach out further than just a Christian audience because I think everyone needs hope and everyone needs keys and if I can impart that and point to Jesus, then I’ve achieved my purpose in writing the book.
Belinda Pollard: I really resonate with that, Roma, because I write crime novels so it’s the sublime to the ridiculous in a sense but I write them for a mainstream audience with what I call gracenotes.
So, those hints of the Kingdom, and I love that you’re doing that with more of a memoir style of non-fiction book, as well, and you’re reaching to that broader audience. Maybe people who are a little bit further away from faith.
Roma Flood: I’ve really felt inspired to do it that way.
It’s not to say that I haven’t mentioned Jesus in it and my faith because I have to because it’s who I am and that’s how I got through it. That was the way that I felt to write it.
Belinda Pollard: I like that, too, and I think often Christians who write memoir or non-fiction for a mainstream audience, they can sometimes feel a bit inhibited to hold back on their story but it’s actually the very post-modern thing, isn’t it, that your own personal story is so authentic and you can absolutely tell it, even the God bits, to a non-Christian audience and they will be interested because it’s your authentic story. You’re not preaching at them, you’re storying your life to them and giving them encouragement from what you’ve learnt from hard experience.
I love that you’re doing that. That’s great.
Roma Flood: I think people are more open to experience, often, before they’re open to you preaching the Gospel to them.
Alison Joy: So, I’m just curious to know how you approached doing this book, practically, emotionally and spiritually, because I read at one point you ended up in hospital as result of reliving your daughter’s death.
So, how did you continue to write through the pain and grief that’s obviously ongoing?
Roma Flood: Well, I enjoy the process of writing. So, getting to the computer and writing it down, writing things, I enjoyed that process.
Although, reliving my life was gruelling and it was quite difficult but I know that when I was writing it, I would go for walks and just meditate. It was always on my mind.
Once you start a book, it’s always on your mind, as you know! It consumes your thinking and I’d go for walks and often the Holy Spirit would drop these great lines in my mind and I’d think, “Ah, gosh, I haven’t got my phone and I can’t record it,” and I’d have to try and remember that line until I got home so I could scribble it down!
It was extremely difficult reliving it and I don’t say that lightly because I did have to relive it. I had to remember all of the emotions and all the detail and I did have journals that I could relate to, to remind me about different areas for which I used those journals.
It was quite gruelling and I didn’t realise when I was having the chest pains, that they were associated with writing my book, writing my story. I thought I was having heart attacks and then only to find out, after all the tests, that it’s anxiety attacks. The body sort of takes over and then after those episodes happened, I basically had to stop writing for some time and sometimes for two months.
So, my book writing was quite a long process but I was determined and if I start something, I like to finish it and I was determined to get this story out because I knew it had a purpose. I just wanted to write it and get it completed.
Belinda Pollard: And they do say that when you’re working on something like that, as well, your body doesn’t actually know that you’re not experiencing it now.
Roma Flood: That’s true. That’s true. Yes.
Belinda Pollard: The body’s kind of reacting as though it were happening now all over again.
Roma Flood: That makes sense to me, Belinda. Yes. Yes, it does.
It is tricky and I know that’s something that the Lord taught me after Danielle was killed and it was a process. When I’ve verbalise things or written things down or I was reliving it, often it would just repeat and repeat on my mind especially when I went to bed. I really had to learn to speak to myself and often self-talk’s really important and just say, “Roma, don’t go there.” Don’t go there, and change my thought pattern and really be prepared to think about something different whether it be my art or just something good that was happening.
Whatever it was, that I really had to train myself to not think about the incidences and what I’d been writing about that day.
Belinda Pollard: I work on some book projects and writing coaching with a domestic violence charity and one of the things that they’re always going on and on and on about, nagging about really, to their authors, is that they must get that psychological support. It’s not a Christian charity but I think we would also add spiritual support.
Can I urge you, if you’re out there listening and you’re writing a really hard topic that’s very close to your heart, that you do get that support. Don’t underestimate how much it might affect you. Do take really go care of yourself through the process and allow God to nourish and comfort and protect you through that process.
Roma Flood: Absolutely, staying connected to Jesus is imperative, really, and just staying in the Word, not religiously, but just drawing comfort from Him and knowing that He’s sustaining you and He’s guiding you in the process. He’s initiated the writing of the book and so He’s going to help you through and whatever the situation is for people out there, too.
He’ll guide you through no matter what.
Donita Bundy: So, Roma, you chose to use an assisted independent and self-publishing company. Why did you make that choice and what was the process like?
Roma Flood: I chose the company because basically they allowed me to put down on paper what I wanted to put down. So, I had that freedom and I really felt that that was a great asset to what I wanted to put in the pages. So, they were very good that way.
They also helped me – my mentor, Jason, he was just invaluable just helping me with word structure and things like that because I’d never done a writer’s course and that sounds probably ridiculous to all of you writers! But, basically, just having the desire to write was just something that I just sat down and just started to write.
I did, actually, speak to a girlfriend who had studied a writing course and she imparted a little bit of information to me so I did a bit of research all about a writer’s arc and I planned and mapped out the book and did it on a whiteboard and really knew the direction that my book would take. Most books have one climax but I had three.
I worked through those processes and that really guided me as I wrote the book. But, of course, there were other tangents that I went off and I included each of those and I purchased 1,000 books and had them printed. I also did a marketing course with them and so for all of those books, I would receive 100% of their sales. But anything on eBooks or audiobooks or even books sold on Amazon or Book Depository or any sites, you only get a certain percentage.
Belinda Pollard: Now, we noticed, Roma, that you’ve got an endorsement on the front cover from the actor, Liam Neeson. How did that happen? How did that come about?
Roma Flood: I think God set it up! He really did.
During the marketing course, the publishing company gave me a website with a lot of celebrities’ email addresses and I formulated a letter saying that I’ve written this book, would you be interested in endorsing me and I sent it away to about 15 different celebrities; Oprah, Hugh Jackman, Joyce Muller, just to name a few. Basically, I didn’t get much feedback. Hugh Jackman was busy travelling. He replied to me which was lovely. Basically, like I said, little feedback or little reply at all.
And then, I also had to do social media as part of the marketing on Facebook and Instagram and this particular day on Instagram, Liam Neeson had put a post up and he said, “It’s 10 years since I lost my wife.” He lost her in a tragic skiing accident.
I just went onto his post and wrote a couple of lines and I said, “I’ve lost my daughter to murder, I lost my husband and my granddaughter in a small plane crash. You never forget them, never.”
And the next minute I got a private message from him and he said to me, “I’m so sorry for your loss, dear.” And then that was fine and a little bit of time went past and I thought, “Oh my gosh, this is Liam Neeson! I’m in contact with Liam Neeson!”
So, I sent him a message and I said, “Liam, I’ve just written a book. Would you consider endorsing it?” He immediately said, “Yes.” I said, “Well, can I please get your email address?” So, he gave me his office. I sent the book through. He read the book and he sent me an amazing endorsement which is on the front cover.
Do you want me to read it to you?
Belinda Pollard: Yes!
Roma Flood: Okay. It’s worth it.
Alison Joy: It’s definitely worth it!
Roma Flood: I don’t know, honestly, that it sold many books but it’s a good talking point.
He said, “Roma Flood’s writing is quite heart-touching and stunningly motivational. This book is undisputedly one of those books to read and meditate with, during our darkest days.” Liam Neeson, BAFTA, Golden Globe and Academy Award Nominee.
Belinda Pollard: That’s lovely, isn’t it?
Roma Flood: Yes, it was lovely. And so, I was very appreciative.
I’ll extend that story a little bit because it’s quite funny. I was messaging him a little bit and he was backwards and forwards about the book and so forth. And then one day I was out at lunch after church with some girlfriends and my phone went off and I just looked at it and I said, “Hang on, girls, I’ve got a message from Liam.” And they just burst out laughing! It was true. I was messaging Liam over lunch! That’s my claim to fame.
Belinda Pollard: I guess it’s interesting because he’s famous but he’s also a person.
Roma Flood: Of course he is. Obviously, he related to the grief and he knew that I understood what he was going through and that really was what captured his attention.
Alison Joy: So, Roma, what do you want people to take away from reading your book?
Roma Flood: When I wrote the book, my aim was always to point people to Jesus and I wanted to do it in a way that was non-confronting but it was real.
I think, in my book, I have achieved that because people need to have hope and they need answers and especially in the world today with all the challenges and the grief and the loss and so many different scenarios of things that have happened the last few years, people need hope and they’re looking for answers. So, basically, yes, that was my aim.
Even though it was extremely difficult writing the book and, to be really honest, I can say that I didn’t always sense Jesus’ presence in it. Was He always with me? Yes, He was. Did I sense Him all the time? No, but it doesn’t nullify the fact that He was guiding me and He was directing me and He was comforting me during the process.
Donita Bundy: Roma, what doors have opened for you since you’ve published this book?
Roma Flood: I think meeting a lot of other authors, like yourselves, and even in the publishing company where I published, I met a lot of other authors.
I’ve also spoken at a lot of women’s meetings and shared my story and the keys of working through challenges, loss and grief.
I’ve been out west to Aussie Women Arise, Aussie Sheilas actually, and spoken to ladies out west who face the challenges and the hardship of living in the country and don’t get much ministry out there. I’ve been out there.
I’ve joined a group of ladies called Authors and Others. I’ve hosted another lady’s book launch.
The one thing that was really inspiring for me and I love doing it was that I was able to get into women’s prisons. I went into this women’s prison in Queensland. A course called the Sycamore Tree Project and what it is, is that women, or men, go in as the victim and they share how the tragedy and the crime of what happened to them has affected them and their family to the inmates.
And so, there were five women that I shared my story with and it absolutely impacted these women because the fact that I was able to forgive the perpetrator, forgive the lady that murdered my daughter, and it was a brutal, horrific, frenzied murder. The fact that I was able to work through that process, absolutely, just blew them away.
I think they saw that there was an answer and a key and they were just so appreciative that I shared my story, that I made the effort to go in and speak to them because they considered themselves the lesser of society. But absolutely, they aren’t. They’ve all been through some type of experience or difficulty in life that’s sometimes steered them in the wrong direction where they’ve made a wrong decision and they’ve had to pay for it. I just found them absolutely lovely and by the end of it, very, very open.
In fact, the following week was graduation week and I gave each of them a copy of my book and they were so excited. They said, “I can’t wait to get home and read my book.” Now, home is their cell and they couldn’t wait to get back to their home and start reading it.
I was also really blessed because I was able to get my book into every prison in Queensland in their libraries. I don’t know how many people it has touched, but I’m just praying.
Belinda Pollard: Wonderful! That’s really wonderful.
Do you think the process of writing has been healing for you?
Roma Flood: I like the process of writing but reliving it was gruelling.
When I finished the book, that was amazing to me to be able to say, “It’s done. It’s finished.” But when I get feedback from people who actually say to me that it has helped them and, in fact, one lady messaged me and she was a lady who had been quite a recluse and depressed and stayed inside her house and her mother had bought her a book. She said, “That book sat on the shelf for months and months and months,” until one night she was just so low and she picked up the book and she started to read and she read and read right through to midnight.
She said by the end of that book, she was in tears and she gave her heart to the Lord and she contacted me and told me. I was just like, “Thank you, Lord.” That was the icing on the cake for me. But the fact that it has helped people – that has been healing for me and I love hearing those stories. I love to know that my life has had some purpose for somebody else.
Belinda Pollard: Kind of redeeming the story, in some respects.
Roma Flood: Yes, it is.
Belinda Pollard: That’s beautiful. I have one funny little final question for you, Roma. You said when you first wanted to write, it was just light-hearted fictional stuff, do you think you would ever go back to that? Would you ever want to write a lighter type of thing?
Roma Flood: I have thought about it. I think because the marketing stretched me so much, I think, “Oh my gosh, the marketing!” But I think there’s different ways of getting your book out there than the way that I did it, too.
And I’ve learnt a lot doing that marketing, as well. So, I do like the process of writing. Maybe? You never say never around the Lord, do you?
Other people are writing their second books and their third books and I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh! Should I, or shouldn’t I?”
Belinda Pollard: Yes. It’s not compulsory!
Roma Flood: No, it’s not compulsory. No.
Belinda Pollard: Roma, where can people find you online?
Roma Flood: Okay. At the moment, I have a website romaflood.com and that gives a lot of my story. There’s also blogs on that site and blogs on Facebook Roma Flood Author and Instagram Roma Flood. But they can always contact me via Messenger on Facebook or at romaflood (at) hotmail.com.
Belinda Pollard: How about I pray for you, Roma?
Heavenly Father, we thank you that in spite of all the horror that there has been in Roma’s life, you have yet brought a morning after that, a morning after the mourning, and that you have given her hope and courage and helped her to keep going.
And you’ve given her the wisdom and the tenacity to go in and write about her experiences in a way that is changing people’s lives.
We just thank you Lord that you are redeeming something for yourself from these terrible outcomes of living in the fallen world.
I pray that you will continue to bless and encourage Roma. That you will continue to go with her book into the hearts and minds of the people that you are preparing to receive it. That you will work in lives and change things and build people up and draw people to yourself.
And I pray for everyone else out there who’s writing a book like Roma’s, that you will comfort and encourage and strengthen them and give them wisdom and peace and a sense of guidance and direction as to what your purpose in it is.
And we ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Roma Flood: Amen.
Alison Joy: Amen.
Donita Bundy: Amen.
Belinda Pollard: Roma Flood, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today. Thank you, Alison Joy and Donita Bundy. I’m Belinda Pollard and we will see you next time on the Gracewriters podcast.
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